and the name is ali,

Ignore the gross cigarette burns between my tits and my shitty tattoo.

Haha.

:p

His name is Ludwig. 

He is the absolute cutest!

He looks EXACTLY like my old rat Milo. [R.I.P bby, <3]

Ive been pretty devastated about losing Milo,

and Ludwig will never replace him.

But its still nice to fill that sad hole that i have in my heart.

(Source: buddhafulgirl)

1. NOBODY was posting ANYTHING about Invisible Children or Joesph Kony until it became a trending topic. You only started caring, when it started becoming big on tumblr/twitter.

2. Do NOT tell me im horrible for not reblogging all of those pictures. I have been involved in Invisible Children since i was a freshmen in high school, and ive been graduated for a year, and i am STILL involved. Im also involved in Art Feed’s, TOMS, Beautiful Feet, and im joining the peace corps.

3. I have helped my old high school raise thousands of dollars for Invisible Children and other organizations alike. Ive sold food, bracelets, earrings, shirts, posters, everything imaginable to raise money for the children in Uganda and other parts of Africa. 

4. I have an entire wall in my room dedicated to Invisible Children and peace, with posters, newspaper clippings, mug shots of Joesph Kony, etc…

5. Ive met children from Uganda, and they have made an impeccable impact on me. Im currently planning a trip to Africa, after getting a hold of Invisible Children headquarters, to one day see those children again.

So, do NOT tell me i dont care. Because a good chunk of my career choices has to do with Invisible Children and missions trips. Ive cared for five years. And had i known about Invisible Children in middle school, i wouldve cared then. I hold this topic so close to my heart. You only cared when it became a trending topic. 

Anonymous asked: I'm a bit bigger, but not huge. And I've come to realise something, we aren't healthy at all. Being bigger is not something to be proud of. Embracing your bigger body means your too lazy to do anything about it, and thats where we need to shut the fuck up, change our diets, and exercise. And you know what?.. we would be 100x happier if we actually did this, and stopped questioning our weights. We Are Fat and there is so much we can do about that.

i do agree with you. but some people genuinely enjoy being big. it is a disease, it is a sickness, and we can change it. but if people want to embrace their bodies and love themselves even if they are big, then so be it. i dont complain about my weight, cause i know its my fault for being this size. but id still like confidence. because if you lack confidence, then you wont have any motivation to change yourself, to make yourself better. 

I see all of these big beautiful girls, embracing their bodies, and loving the way to look. I just wish i had that much confidence. I wish i was totally okay with being a bigger girl. Cause’ theres no way id ever want to be skinny. But i really wouldnt mind having a great body. How do you girls do it? I envy you.

Im not 100% sure why i boxed everything up a few months ago, but i did. Well i was looking through all of my folders i have with my sketchings and paintings. And there was a folder full of notebook paper, all folded up. So i started looking through it all, and realized that i was the novel i was attempting to write. I had it written up to chapter three. And it really dawned on me now, that shoving all my art stuff was not only boxing away one of my dreams, but two. I obviously had gotten discouraged after starting to write my novel, and just stuffed it somewhere, cause it didnt matter. I always seem to put down my dreams, and i have so many. I really need to learn how to not be so hard on myself.. I need to love myself more.

OOTD 3/3/12

White tank top; Torrid.

White cardigan; Local thrift store.

Floral skirt; Torrid.

Pearl necklace; Local thrift store.

Not pictured; 

Black leggings; Fashion Bug.

White floral wedges; Local thrift store.

I havnt sketched anything, or done anything art related in a few months. The pencil felt so foreign in my hand tonight. The sketch that i did, i was not pleased with it at all. Sometimes i usually get a little cocky about my work. But im afraid ive lost my art mojo. Which is kind of eating away at my core. Beings that the things i want to do with my career is doing creative things. I suppose i just need to get use to it again, get my hand use to holding a pencil again. Im not even sure why i stopped drawing and painting. I just out of nowhere boxed up all of my art supplies and shoved it to the top of my closet. No real reason. Like my body was over powering my mind. My body was telling my mind that you arent going to anywhere with art, so give up. I mean, im not fabulous at art. But i like do create things. I like to make beautiful things out of nothing. Whether its drawing, painting, pottery, sewing, woodwork. I like working with my hands. 

Anybody have advice for me?

This is a crappy photo. But i just did a quick sketch out of sheer boredom. 

Which is really close to my heart. Ive dealt with self injury for six years, and im still struggling. Ive gone through some traumatic things, and cutting would always help with that. It always made me feel better. Which is so weird to say. Other then the two times i attempted to commit suicide, i never cut myself because i wanted to die. But i couldve, from how deep i cut, or how much blood i lost, and i never took care of the cuts. I never washed them or put bandages on them. I just didnt care. But im still here. And im loving life. Im not ashamed of my scars. If somebody sees them, and says something. It really doesnt bother me. Im a survivor. Thats all that matters.

My boyfriend has not talked to me in over a week. And of course, he always does this. And when he finally talks to me again, he gives me a bogus excuse, and then i forgive him. But im done this time. I cant keep doing this to myself. Its not fair to me. I get to be sad all the time, always be paranoid that hes doing something. Its not right. So as of now, i am single. And even though he wont talk to me, so i can tell him. I dont care, i am single. And next time he talks to me, whenever that is, i will tell him. This is bitter sweet for me, because i love him so much. But i refuse to hurt anymore. Im going to focus on me. 

So this is the tattoo i got. Its not perfect, but hey, oh well. Thats what i get for getting it by the person i did. But i am extremely content with it. Hate it or love it, i dont really care.